Called to Care | dia-LOGOS

Written by Hythem Betts (Transition Coach and Cross-cultural Consultant)

We can all agree on the significance of expressing love and care for people, but this raises a plethora of questions. Who should we extend our care to? How can we effectively care for others? Why is it essential to do so? What drives this need for care? And how can we assess the impact and sufficiency of our efforts?

Let's start with the seemingly simplest question: Who do we care for? In short, our answer is everyone. However, this broad answer doesn't provide practical guidance. While we can care about (have thoughts of concern for) everyone, we can’t care for (active engagement with) everyone. We can only care for those individuals who are open to engaging with us, as you can't assist someone who doesn't want help.

The first step in caring for others involves identifying three crucial factors:

Someone within your sphere of influence with whom you can engage.

Evaluating whether you possess the necessary skills and capacity to support them.

Ensuring that you are a person with whom they will feel safe engaging.

The resources available to help us assist and care for others are numerous – they teach us how to enhance our capacity as caregivers and underline the profound importance of this task. Yet, what if you find yourself looking around and can't immediately identify someone in dire need of care? It's important to note that we often tend to focus on the "orphans and widows," the most visibly suffering individuals. This is not to diminish their need for care, as they do indeed require our support. The reason we often turn to them first is because their suffering is evident, and on display for all to see. Consider the case of the late Robin Williams, one of the world's greatest comedians, who struggled with anxiety and depression in silence before taking his own life. We live in a world where people often conceal their pain, yet their suffering continues.

While almost anyone can make a sandwich and offer it to someone on a street corner, it takes years of training to effectively assist someone with PTSD. Perhaps you lack the necessary skills to engage in caring for others directly but still have a desire to contribute. Locate individuals in your community who are capable of helping others, and support them. There are many ways to “strengthen the hands” of caregivers: you can provide emotional support or friendship by learning about the struggles they face as caregivers; spiritual support through prayer and encouragement; and financial support by contributing to pro-bono work. If you are unable to help, connect them with people in your network who can.

You might be thinking, "I don't personally know any psychologists or mental health practitioners," which may be true. However, unsung caregivers are hiding in plain sight. For example, many pastors make themselves available as counselors to their congregations, and most churches have missionaries caring for people locally and overseas. I have had conversations with pastors that long for someone to reach out and ask about their need for prayer, or simply to check on their well-being. Don't forget the faithful older woman who always has time for newlyweds or young mothers in need of a shoulder to cry on. These are some of the specialists among us, hidden in plain sight, just like the individuals they serve.

If you've ever been there for a friend going through a breakup, coping with a missed job promotion, or facing life's challenges, you can appreciate how emotionally draining it can be. Now, envision this as someone's primary role. Consider the impact they are making and the toll it is taking on them. Don't assume for a moment that they don't find joy in their service; they absolutely do. However, like Jesus who endured the cross for the "joy set before him," there is a cost to bearing the pain of others.

These caregivers are right here in our communities, and they need our support. They possess the skills, and you can easily enhance their capacity. They have earned the trust of those they work with, and by standing beside them, you can help them reap the rewards of their labor.

Hythem recently launched New Horizons Consulting, which is focused on helping missionaries set themselves up for success. The main service provided is transition coaching, with hopes of expanding to other support services in the future.

https://newhorizonsconsulting.net/